Bighani Shares How Showering Us With Compliments in The Love Bomb Room Helped Us Cope During The Height of the Pandemic

Bighani visits “The Goodness Factor” to share the story of how she established The Love Bomb Room during the height of the global pandemic, showering us with love and compliments, which helped us cope and gave us hope. Subscribe to the podcast & listen below.

[Transcript]

Welcome to “The Goodness Factor,” an Audacy podcast. I’m your host, Shelley Wade. I hope you’re having a wonderful day so far. And if not, I hope that listening to “The Goodness Factor” goes a long way towards making your day much better. If you haven’t already subscribed to the podcast, please do so. Yes, subscribe on the Audacy app, Apple podcasts and wherever you get your podcasts and tell your whole network…Your family, friends, your followers on social media about “The Goodness Factor” as well. Subscribe and give me some reviews because that really does go a long way toward helping the podcast be discovered by new listeners. I want to shout out to one of our listeners. Her name is Freedom. I recently met her at an event in Harlem and she told me that not only does she listen to me on 94.7 The Block every afternoon, but she also subscribed to “The Goodness Factor” podcast and listens to new episodes every time they drop on Tuesdays. So thank you, Freedom. I appreciate you. I appreciate you taking the time to subscribe to “The Goodness Factor” and I appreciate your support. So on “The Goodness Factor,” we report good news and shine the spotlight on good people doing good things. Every episode starts off with The Goodness Report where we report good news the world over then I interview and shine the spotlight on a person–celeb or regular–who’s actively doing good deeds to benefit others. Today, I’m shining the spotlight on my friend Bighani, who I first met on Clubhouse during the thick of the pandemic. I don’t know if you ever went on Clubhouse, but it was all the rage during the pandemic. And inside her The Love Bomb Room, Bighani spread so much love every time I got on Clubhouse and it was just, I don’t know during the pandemic, it was just so scary. It was such an uncertain time that knowing that there was a space like The Love Bomb Room really did wonders in helping a lot of people. So we’ll talk to Bighani coming up a little later. And of course, every episode ends with The Good Word–words of inspiration, positivity, and encouragement. So let’s get into it. It’s time for The Goodness Report…

I really loved hearing about this story that I found on ABC 30’s website and wanted to share it with you. Carey Knox works as an intervention specialist at an elementary school in Fresno, California. He teaches life skills and helps kids work through any issues they’re having. But now he’s also a barber. Yeah, he went to school for it during the pandemic and recently noticed a student hadn’t had a trim in a while. So he got permission from parents and his principal to start cutting kids’ hair at lunch for free. How amazing is that?! Yeah, I mean, you know, listen, we never know what parents could be going through. Maybe they just don’t have the money to get their kids’ hair cut or maybe the time between working hard and the commutes and raising the kids…I mean, maybe there’s not a lot of time. So kudos to Carey Knox for not only cutting the kid’s hair, but doing it for free. What a wonderful service. And he says that it’s been a boost for their self esteem and it gives him a chance to check in and build relationships. I love that. Like I said, we shine the spotlight on good people doing good things–whether they’re regular, everyday people or celebs…celebs like Beyoncé. Yeah, Beyoncé’s BeyGood Foundation is making a positive impact by supporting Black cowboys, Cowgirls, farmers and ranchers through grants and partnerships. You know, Beyoncé is my fellow Houstonian and a lot of people thought it was odd, to say the least, that she would get into country music. But if you know anything about Houston and Texas, you know that, you know, we, we grow up whether–you are a fan of R&B or whatever the culture–you’re also, from a very early age, influenced with country music. I mean, literally where I grew up, it’s an urban area but just a few blocks away, there are cowboys with horses and sometimes you’ll see them riding their horses down the street. So it’s not odd at all. But yeah, Beyoncé’s BeyGood foundation’s focus on Black equestrian and agriculture traditions aims to preserve and celebrate an essential part of Black heritage often overlooked in mainstream media. The foundation awarded $25,000 in grants for four organizations, including Urban Saddles and Love This Equine. BeyGood, also gifted $500,000 in grants to Black cowboys at the annual Bill Pickett Rodeo Circuit. Through its philanthropic efforts, the BeyGood Foundation affirms the value of Black agricultural and equestrian traditions in the broader American narrative. So kudos to Beyoncé’s BeyGood Foundation for doing her part to support and uplift Black cowboys, cowgirls, farmers and ranchers. And that’s The Goodness Report. Time for the Do-Gooder Interview…

I am so honored to have Bighani on the podcast with me because what you stand for is so much of what I stand for as far as putting love out into the universe. Um Here at The Goodness Factor, we like to shine the spotlight on good news because we’re inundated with bad negative news all the time. And so
sometimes you just need to be reminded that there are actually good people out here doing good things. And so that’s what we do. We, we shine the spotlight on you. That’s why I wanted to come and, and have you come and shine this great big spotlight on you. Um Because I remember back when um you know, we were in the thick of the pandemic and so many people felt hopeless and they didn’t have jobs, they couldn’t pay their bills, they had loved ones who were passing away and it felt so hopeless. But on Clubhouse, you had a space for us all to enter and to not only show love but be surrounded by love inside The Love Bomb Room. So shout out to everybody who may have stepped inside The Love Bomb Room on Clubhouse during the pandemic and, and, and, and it’s like a super throwback right now because you guys are no longer on Clubhouse. Um And so now you’re taking your events out live. So let’s take it back. Let’s rewind a few years back now. We don’t want to relive what we were going through at that time. But let’s relive the love that you put out there with The Love Bomb Room. I always hear people in dating terms when they’re talking about dating and if someone love bombs you, that’s not. According to Psychology Today, love bombing is an attempt to influence another person with over the top displays of attention and affection. This kind of behavior is a form of emotional abuse and although it can be experienced during any stage of a relationship, it’s often seen in early stages. Um so like for example, um you meet someone and oh my God, they’re treating you so well. They’re showing you all this love and giving you all these gifts and then it’s just overwhelming, but it’s done in a way to manipulate. But that’s not what you mean by love bomb. What was your meaning of it?

So did you want me to tell how it was started or that specific question?

What did you mean with your meaning of Love Bomb?

Our meaning of Love Bomb is compliments. So we’re a community where we uplift the community through words of affirmation and all of the seven art forms. So typically, you know, we look at somebody, “Shelley, I really love that lipstick on you. You’re so fire. Congratulations on the podcast.” Basically hyping you up, gassing you up and doing it in such a way with the intentionality to uplift your spirits. So that’s what our definition of Love Bomb is. And we decided to keep the name, although we discovered what the name is midway as a purpose to educate the people as well.

Yeah, I mean, that’s the beauty about words and phrases…They can have multiple meanings and your meaning was the positive, uplifting meaning. And so you were telling me before that the Love Bomb Room on Clubhouse started with just five people and then you grew into a community of over how many people eventually?

So I was looking at the statistics and we’re in six different cities, London being one of them, and each city it’s hundreds, sometimes a little over 1,000. So we started out as a community of five and now in each city we’re in the hundreds, hundreds thousands.

That is absolutely bananas. And I think it caught on the way it did because again, everyone needed that positivity because we had never experienced anything like that before…I mean, not even knowing if it’s ok to go into the grocery store and buy groceries because someone may breathe on you and you have to stand 6 ft away from. It was so, um it was uncertain. It was frightening, frightening. It was just…in New York City…You know, you’re a native New Yorker, you were hit hard by it. New York City was hit hard by it. So at a time, I think The Love Bomb Room was so successful and it caught on so well because everyone felt hopeless. But we can come into The Love Bomb Room and just feel surrounded by love and uplifted.
What was your motivation for starting The Love Bomb Room?

Initially, I didn’t have intentions of starting anything positive like that because me and the five people that was in the roast room originally, what it was, we just created that room for past time. I’m a class clown naturally. So we were just roasting each other and that was our way of letting out whatever uncertainty that we had anxiety, frustration. And then I was like, one day, let me roast people, but with compliments and the feedback that I got from it, I knew that I was doing something more than just complimenting somebody. It was, it was really filling somebody’s cup who needed their cup to be filled in a way where I’m like, wow, I didn’t realize we could impact somebody like this to this degree. For instance, I always tell this story because it’s one of the most impactful stories…Camille Johnson, who’s a UK member of The Love Bomb Room, Catch These Compliments, she said that when she discovered The Love Bomb Room,
um that morning, she had got diagnosed with breast cancer and when we were uplifting her, she saw how the strangers were engaging with her and giving her positive words…She knew that she had to change the way she approached her illness and her treatment. And we had an opportunity to see her two years after. And then recently I went back to London and I got the opportunity to see her and she said that till this day she’s cancer free.

I’m so happy to hear she’s thriving. What a beautiful and everything.

So shout out to Camille Johnson, Camille pink ribbon, lingerie.

I am so happy, Camille, that you’re doing well. I think I met Camille in The Love Bomb Room.

Yes, you did.

I met Camille.

And by the way, Shelley, all of the times as you walked in because people would compliment you on your voice. So we would be like, wait a second, she has to be a professional and we started to do research on you. It was like, you’re a whole professional, you’re a whole celebrity in our room. We used to be like…

I’m a whole entire professional!

But we used to like, you know, those kind of instances and the way we would meet people like you, it would uplift us as well and how you would engage with us and also compliment other people. Thank you for being a part of that.

I mean, I think for me, I think that in our society, we put so much…First of all, I don’t consider myself a celebrity, but ok. I really don’t, I never, people say some people say that to me. I, I might be really popular but I’m not a celebrity. But I think that our society puts so much emphasis on celebrity and I just, you know, for me, we’re all regular people, right? And during the pandemic, I think that was a way of, you know, we were, we all felt the same, we were all on the level, on this level of a feeling that we needed to be uplifted because everything was so uncertain. And for me, walking into The Love Bomb Room or stepping in to The Love Bomb Room just was a lot of love. And I just love the energy. I love the energy behind it. And I think it’s, I would say that you started a movement. It was a whole movement to where now you’ve taken it offline, taken it out of Clubhouse and you’re really outside, outside. So what are you doing with it now? You said you go to different cities and you want to shout out the cities.

So New York, of course, my hometown, LA, Miami, where we did Art Basel, which by the way, shout out to Bree Galore, who’s a part of the community…She’s an artist…Houston, Texas.

H-Town!

Where you’re from. Shout out to Mickey Washington who’s helped me to build my community out there as well. Atlanta, which my big brothers who’s actually from the entertainment business, the Met Guidry and Will Kill, who are founders of the Black American Music Foundation. They, they helped me to push this movement forward as well as London, England, which is overseas, which I’m just like, I’m in amazement and we have a whole community out there. I was just telling Jenny who’s here with me right
now, taking BTS how I feel like, wow, it’s just when you do something and you don’t have any expectations but you cater to it and you foster it and you check up on it and water it, water the plant. It’s surprising what could come out of that. What the fruition is, what the fruit could come out of that.

I think it’s lovely because again, you kind of accidentally started it and didn’t have any ulterior motives. You weren’t like, oh, I’m gonna start because a lot of people, when they saw that there were some influencers on Clubhouse, you know, and they were able to make money from it and get sponsors. A lot of people started their, um, their clubs because of that, you know, nothing wrong with that. I mean, we live in a capitalistic society. But my point is yours, you didn’t have any ulterior motives. It just was very
organic and beautiful because again, so I just wanted to shine the spotlight on you to thank you for giving us that space of love at a time when we needed it most.

Well, thank you.

So when you take The Love Bomb Room out even across overseas in London…

Across the pond.

Exactly. And here in the States, what do you guys actually do at your live events?

Oh, yeah. So as I said, Catch These Compliments, The Love Bomb Room is a global community where we celebrate each other, the words of affirmation and all seven art forms. So, in these events, what we do is we push each other to showcase our talents and people are talented in a particular art form. Like in Houston, we do the architecture, we highlight architects and designers because
they have painting skills as well or they have music skills as well. And that’s basically what we do. So we uplift each other through words of affirmation and the arts. And, you know, because you never know when you look at somebody’s painting, you never know how that could uplift you and listening to somebody’s words, listening to even, believe it or not, your voice. Because voice over, I believe, in my opinion, is an art form as well. Your diction, you know, your peace, you know, all of
that influences us and it impacts us and we receive it in a way where, you know, however our spirit receives it. And it’s important to always showcase your talent, always showcase your gift to the world through the arts and it impacts us in a deeper way than we could ever imagine.

Yeah, that sense of self expression where it not only gives you a sense of fulfillment and achievement, an accomplishment, but you’re also–I think the arts are healing–So you’re also uplifting others. So you’re filling yourself and others at the same.

Exactly.

It’s so interesting. You said that because this has been a journey for me, like a lot of introspection.
So with The Love Bomb Room, Catch These Compliments, we do have a tour that every time we go to each different city, it’s called heal the self through the arts. And I put the self there because it’s important to heal yourself first so that it could, it could transcend and inspire others to heal themselves. And when you have healthy people in one community, everybody gets to uplift each other. That’s my personal opinion.

So when do you decide when you’re going to go out on one of the live events?

Um That’s very interesting because we are a big community. So depending on if someone strikes up a conversation, like, “Hey, let’s do something in Paris or let’s do something in LA, let’s do something during Art Basel.” So it’s usually that and depending on how many dots connect because we are independent and we don’t have big capital behind us. So everything is community driven. So when the dots connect, that’s when we do an event.

Hey, you want to send any shouts out before we wrap up?

Yeah, sure. I want to give a shout out to Henry Street Settlement over there. We have Debbie Cox who she’s very integral in me engaging Catch These Compliments, engaging with the youth. She is, let me pull it up. I want to, I’m saying all of the right things, Vice President of Department of Integration and Community as well as Sonia J who helps assist her as well. And president and Ceo David Garza of Henry Street Settlement who got Catch These Compliments involved with this program that they got called teen expansion.

So you’re teaching the kids to come up and spread love and express themselves with their
art.

Exactly. Affirmation and the arts.

Yes, you got to, listen…What do they say each one, each one, each one teach one, you reach back and you pull someone else up. And then also I think younger generations really do…I think they hunger for positivity, especially being on social media. Sometimes it can be very disheartening and how negative it could be. And so I think that kids crave that positivity that you’re bringing to them.

They do. First glance when you meet them, it may not look like that.

Yeah, they’re like whatever…you have to impress them.

Exactly. And also they would believe it or not. Children are very, very smart. They’re very intuitive. So they could tell whether or not you’re coming from a genuine spirit space or whether you’re there for your own agenda. If they could read that you’re coming from a genuine spirit space and you’re there for them, they’ll be able to connect with you a little bit better.

Ok. Any more shouts?

I want to shout out the Met Guidry and Will Kib from Black American Music Foundation. They’re my big brothers who help me in times where we do need some type of funding. So a big shout out to them, they call themselves BAM. But yeah, they play a very integral part of pushing the movement forward and also Mickey Washington, Bri Galore, Shelley Wade, Jenny C and Sua from London who helped me put together the event in London. So big shout out to all.

Did you just give me a shout?

Of course.

You know, it’s so funny being a radio host, you’re used to giving shouts out to people. You’re not used to people shouting you out. So thank you for my shout. Where can people find you on social media?

So me, my personal Instagram is Bighani_ and then The Love Bomb Room and then Catch These Compliments and then the website is CatchTheseCompliments.com.

Alright, continue to put that love out there. Spread that love, put that positivity out into the universe. We love it.

I appreciate you, Shelley. Thank you so much. And congrats again. Big congrats.

Thank you.

True story. I love hearing people laugh. I mean, if I’m walking down the street or sitting on the train or anything and I hear people just break out into laughter, I don’t even have to know what they’re laughing at. I just love the sound of it because it just, it just means that someone is experiencing joy. I love that. Thanks again to Bighani. Not only for uplifting us during the pandemic inside The Love Bomb Room, but for taking the time to stop by “The Goodness Factor.” Alright, time for The Good Word.

And today’s Good Word is in alignment with what Bighani stands for…expressing yourself creatively. Oftentimes when we think of doing healthy things, we think about healthy eating and healthy exercising. But have you ever considered that being creative could contribute to your good health? Yeah, according to a new article from United Healthcare–and I am not endorsing United Health Care, nor are they sponsoring the podcast. But I wanted to give them proper credit for this good information that they put out there. According to them, here are five ways that creativity can positively impact your health. One,
it triggers motivation and happiness because when you’re in the flow of creativity, your anxiety is reduced, your mood lifts and your heart rate slows down. Two, it benefits your immune system. Three, it improves your mental health. Four, it boosts brain power and five. It helps reduce dementia.
But I often hear people say things like, “I’m not creative at all.” Well, actually, almost everybody is creative, whether we recognize it or not and everyone can be creative in their own way.
You may like to work on cars in your spare time. You may know all your sports team statistics. You may like to teach other people new skills. Well, those are, believe it or not, all creative outlets. Still need inspiration? Here are some ideas and activities to help get your creative juices flowing: Making arts and crafts, building models, landscaping, drawing and painting, photography, scrapbooking, making collages, dancing, acting, or singing, cross stitching and embroidery, sewing, flower arranging, gardening, home renovating and redecorating, jewelry making, knitting, woodworking, fashion…all creative outlets. Remember whatever gives you joy is your creative outlet. And don’t forget that being creative could contribute to your good health. And that’s The Good Word.

As we wrap up another episode of “The Goodness Factor” podcast, created, produced and hosted by yours truly, Shelley Wade, and Zack Clark is our development producer. Thanks, Zach. Thanks so much to you for joining me and be sure to subscribe to “The Goodness Factor” on the Audacy app or wherever you get your podcasts. We release new episodes every Tuesday. So be sure to subscribe and follow so you’ll be immediately notified when a new episode drops. And once you’ve listened, be sure to leave a review, rate the podcast and share the podcast with your family, friends, colleagues and network. When you review and rate the podcast, it really does help new listeners find “The Goodness Factor.” Also follow us on Instagram @TheGoodFactor and on our Facebook page, “The Goodness Factor with Shelley Wade”…like and follow so you don’t miss any of our posts. And interact with the podcast on social media by liking, commenting and sharing our posts. And if you know of any people and organizations doing good things for their communities and you want us to shine the spotlight on them, DM us on social media. And if you have good news to share…I don’t know, maybe you got engaged, got married, got a new job, graduated, had a milestone birthday. Or if someone did something incredibly kind for you and you want to publicly recognize their kindness…record a voice recording into your phone and DM me the voice message so that I can include your voice in the next episode. This has been “The Goodness Factor with Shelley Wade,” an Audacy podcast. Love you.